The Best (Mis)Laid Plans
by writerslk
Summary: The girls in Mme. Bustier's class have been extra giggly lately, and Adrien finally learns that it's because they've been making imaginary wedding plans for Marinette. All is well and good until he sees the guest list and is left with the burning question: Why would Marinette not invite HIM to her wedding?


_Credit goes to Tete93 for the prompt, posted to the MiraculousFanfiction subreddit._

_This is published on AO3 as "The Wedding Plans of Marinette Dupain-Cheng." I consider it to be a parody if not downright crack; other people do not. Either way, please don't take it too seriously!_

* * *

The girls in Mme. Bustier's class were acting strangely again today. All of them except Chloe and Sabrina, anyway. This had been going on all _week_. Every time there was a break in lessons – before school, after school, before and after lunch time – the girls would huddle together and speak in low whispers punctuated with frequent giggles and sighs. And Adrien was almost _sure_ that they kept throwing glances in his direction.

He checked his hair in the mirror again. It looked fine. Just like it had all week.

He'd mentioned the girls' odd behavior to Nino on Monday, the day it had all started, but Nino had just shrugged.

"I have no idea, dude," he'd said. "They're _girls."_ And then he had shrugged again.

But Adrien felt confused, not to mention a little tired of wondering whether he was the butt of some joke they weren't letting him in on. And seeing how some of these girls claimed to be his friend, and seeing how this had been going on for three days now, it was time to get some answers.

And so, when he walked into the classroom three minutes before lessons resumed after lunch on Thursday, he marched up to Marinette and Alya's table, where Marinette, Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylene, and Alix were currently congregated.

As he approached, there was a squeak, a bunch of giggles, and Marinette slammed a notebook down on her desk and put both arms over the top of it.

"Adrien! H-h-hi!" she stammered.

"Hey Adrien, what's up?" Alya asked, and although she tried to sound casual, she had lingered on his name just a little longer than necessary.

"Actually, I was just about to ask the same thing of you. Is there something wrong with… like… my hair or something?" He touched his head nervously.

"Your hair looks fine. It looks _perfect_," Alya assured him, and for some inexplicable reason, the girls started giggling again. All except Marinette, whose face turned bright red and who stared intently at the cover of her closed notebook.

"Okay," he said uncertainly. "I just wondered because you girls have been acting strangely all week. Is there a joke I'm missing out on?"

The girls exchanged amused glances (all except Marinette who was still staring at her notebook), but before anyone had opened their mouth to answer, a blunt voice spoke up behind him.

"They've been acting this way because they've been talking about plans for Marinette's wedding," Chloe said acerbically.

One row ahead of him, he heard Nino groan.

"It's none of your business, Chloe," Alya chirped warningly.

"I don't _want_ it to be my business," Chloe shot back. "I can't help it if I can hear you talking about it in the bathroom all the time."

"Marinette's _wedding_?" Adrien gaped.

"Marinette's not actually getting married," Mylene explained helpfully.

"Not _yet_," Rose said with a dreamy sigh.

"Then why are you planning your wedding, Marinette?"

Marinette opened her mouth and a mostly-nonsensical string of syllables fell out.

He might have tried to press for a more coherent response, but Mme. Bustier was calling the students to their seats. So instead, he chuckled the way he usually did when he couldn't understand a word Marinette said. "Well, okay. Have fun."

* * *

When the final dismissal bell rang, Adrien watched as Marinette and her friends walked out of the classroom. He turned to Nino, who was packing his things more hurriedly than usual today.

"Is it normal for girls to be planning their weddings while they're still in high school?" he asked.

"I hope not," Nino said with a shudder. He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "I can't talk about it now. I've got to go. I'm DJing across town tonight. See you tomorrow, dude."

Adrien nodded and waved, then slowly packed his own back while he pondered the strangeness of the teenage female human. He picked up his bag and had just started toward the door when he heard Chloe's voice call out to him.

"Adrikins, sweetie, it looks like you dropped something."

Adrien turned to see Chloe pointing to a loose sheet of paper near his seat.

"Huh? I don't think that's mine."

He picked the paper up and turned it over. At the top of the page, written in flowery cursive, were the words "Guest List." A small smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"I guess this is part of Marinette's wedding plans," he said.

"Oh, _that_ ridiculous game again. Just throw it in the garbage." Chloe tried to snatch the paper out of Adrien's hands, but he turned away from her just in time and she grasped only the empty air.

"No, Chloe. That wouldn't be nice. I should give this back to Marinette."

"Why? It's not like she's ever going to get married. She can't even handle a casual conversation with her crush. She'll never be able to make it through her wedding vows."

Adrien barely noticed Chloe's words, though. He was too busy studying the guest list he held in his hands.

He hadn't _meant_ to do it. Marinette had made it pretty clear that her imaginary wedding plans were private, after all. But once he started, he found it hard to stop. Something about all the familiar names in neat, pretty handwriting had him mesmerized.

It started with the names of most of their classmates. Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylene, and Alix were first on the list, of course. Then came Nino and Ivan, followed by Kim, Max, and Nathaniel. Chloe and Sabrina weren't there, but he supposed that was understandable.

_But where's my name? _he wondered.

He continued down the list. Marinette's parents were on the list; so were Alya's parents and sisters, and Juleka's mom and brother. He realized with a shock that his_ own dad_ was on the list. (Was Marinette hoping to be employed with his father's company by the time she got married? Did people usually invite their bosses to their weddings?)

But Adrien's name was nowhere to be found.

_Jagged Stone_ was there, for crying out loud, and so was Nadja Chumack.

There was Mme. Bustier, Mr. Damocles, Ms. Mendeliev. And even…

"The _janitor_?" Adrien said incredulously.

"Huh?" Chloe was looking at him with a confused expression.

"I just noticed that Marinette has _the janitor_ on her guest list, but not me."

"Are you _still_ looking at that? Look Adrien, it doesn't matter. You're better off if you're not invited. You can find way better things to do with your time than go to Marinette Dupain-Cheng's wedding."

* * *

"But I _want _to be invited to Marinette's wedding," he told Nino the next morning as they walked to the classroom together.

"Dude, just forget about it," Nino muttered. He appeared to be studying the tile on the floor. "Let's talk about something else."

"But Marinette has everyone she knows on this list. _Everyone_, Nino, except Chloe, Sabrina, and _me_."

"It's just a silly game," Nino said firmly as they climbed the stairs to their table. "I'm sure you'll be invited to the real thing when the time comes. For now, just forget about it."

"I know it's a game," Adrien said with a sigh. "But I just can't figure it out. I thought I was Marinette's friend."

Nino sighed in a very pained way.

"Adrien, dude. You _do_ know… I mean, did you ever stop to think…" Suddenly, Nino turned to Adrien with a strange look of resolve on his face. "You know what? No."

"Huh?"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm saying this as your best friend. I'm not the person you should be talking to. You need to talk to _Marinette_ about this."

Well… that did make sense.

So that's what Adrien did.

Since Marinette was late to school that morning, he had to wait until lunchtime. But as soon as the class dismissed for lunch, he jumped out of his chair without pushing it in and bounded up to Marinette's table. Already, Juleka, Rose, Mylene, and Alix had joined Alya and Marinette at their table.

He ignored them.

"Hey Marinette, can we talk?"

"Uh, me and you? Uh…" Marinette's expression was one of terror when she looked over at her entourage of friends. They were smiling and nodding and, of course, giggling.

"S-sure, Adrien," Marinette said.

"I'm really sorry, but I found this yesterday after school," he said, pulling out the guest list. "You must've dropped it on the floor as you were leaving. And I read it, and I thought about it over and over and I just don't get it. Marinette, _why am I not invited to your wedding?_"

There was a collective gasp, then silence.

Adrien looked around uncomfortably. Had that come out wrong, somehow? It must've, because no one was giggling now. They were all staring at Marinette with slack jaws and wide eyes.

And it wasn't just Marinette's friends, either. Kim, Nathaniel, Max… the _whole class_ was staring at them and _nobody_ was breathing.

Alya was the first to react.

"Perhaps," she said firmly, "the two of you would like to discuss this in private."

And before Adrien even realized what was happening, Alya had grabbed Marinette's arm with one hand and his arm with her other hand, and she was dragging them down the steps and out the classroom door.

Adrien glanced over at Marinette in bewilderment as the three of them made their way down the hall. Marinette did not look back at him.

Alya came to an abrupt halt in front of another classroom. She pulled the door open roughly and looked in. Apparently, she was satisfied to see that the room was empty. She dragged Adrien and Marinette inside.

"I'll just leave you two to talk," she said, and then Adrien saw her give Marinette a big thumbs up and whisper, "You've got this!" And then she was gone, shutting the door behind her.

Adrien turned to Marinette, who looked like she was about to faint. He rubbed his neck, his nerves a little jangled by what had just happened.

"Do you have any idea what that was all about?" he asked.

Marinette just stood there, trembling head to foot.

"Do you need to sit down?" Adrien asked, gesturing toward one of the classroom tables.

"No thank you," Marinette said in a tiny voice.

"I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you," Adrien said. "I didn't mean for this to happen at all. I really did want to know why you left me off your wedding guest list though. I know it's a game, but you seem to have thought of everyone else. Why not me?"

Marinette opened and closed her mouth wordlessly a few times. Finally, she crossed her arms in front of her and the most adorable look of resolve crossed her face.

"W-well, Adrien," she said, "in weddings, there are certain people who you don't put on the guest list because they're not really _guests._"

She paused, looking at him. He politely waited for her to continue, and finally, she did.

"Some people – well, they _have _to be at the wedding, because you can't have a wedding without them. Like, the bride. And… and the groom."

She paused again. He waited again.

Finally, after a long time, she said, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" Her voice was oddly desperate.

Adrien thought about it. She was right, of course. Marinette herself hadn't been on her wedding guest list, but he hadn't questioned _that _because she was the bride. And if Adrien hadn't been on the guest list either, maybe it was because…

Oh. _Oh._

"I think I do get it," Adrien said quietly and sincerely. "I… I'm flattered that you think of me that way. I had no idea."

Marinette's eyes were wide and she looked again like she might faint. He reached out and grasped her hand in his, giving it a small squeeze of support. Her cheeks flooded with color, and he smiled.

"You were imagining that I'd be one of the _witnesses_ at your wedding, right?" Adrien said. "Well, I'd be honored, Marinette. I truly would."

And then he just couldn't contain the emotion that was soaring in his heart at how highly Marinette regarded him, and he leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"You're a great friend," he told her.

And he meant it.

* * *

_I hadn't originally planned to continue this, and have therefore marked it as complete for now. But I've had a few ideas pop up that are now percolating on the backburner, and maybe someday…_


End file.
